Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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