She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
