god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
