it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
