Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
