this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
