Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
