If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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