your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
