We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
