Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
