i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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