Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
