I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Couch. On fire.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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