Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
