My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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