She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hippo gnu deer
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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