wanna go halves on a baby?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
