its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
