i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
