It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
