They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
