I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
