i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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