I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
