Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
