i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
