Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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