Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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