it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
