We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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