I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
