to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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