I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
