i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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