Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
