i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
