so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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