My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
