evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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