My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
