I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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