Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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