i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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