The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
