My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
