There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think your dad took our porno
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
