A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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