So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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