I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
