My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
